As you can probably imagine, I see a lot of headlines. I scroll through a long list of news sources every day trying to find decent goings on to write about. In doing this, I see a surprising amount of just straight up dumb headlines. So from now on, every Friday afternoon I’m going to share with you the dumbest headline I find. This post has nothing to do with content of the story I’m referring to, and instead everything to do with the sheer rididuclousness of its headline.
There you go. It’s a pretty late in the game contender, seeing as I literally saw it as I was scrolling Facebook before I was gonna write this. But just like Auburn in the 2013 Iron Bowl, Vice ran this headline down the field in the last second. Vice is notorious for having insanely buzzard headlines, but this is impressive even by their standards. It involves pretty much everything that can make a headline crazy: the most famous drug dealer ever, exotic animals, and sex. There’s something in there for everyone to enjoy.
Quick sidenote: why is anyone surprised that it’s hard to get hippos to stop screwing each other? They’re animals, and animals pretty much only exist to have sex. Beyond that, they’re massive, deadly animals, so who’s gonna stop them? Might as well let the hippos get their rocks off.