It is with a heavy heart that I announce the resignation of our beloved blogger, Mr. BK. He set fire to the mic with his one post, then realized that he has a reputation to uphold and decided it would be best for all parties involved (read: himself) if he did not get involved in this blog. Fear not! Your humble CEO reacted quickly to this devastating news.
My first move was to remove BK from the Board of Dictators and buy him out of his share of the company. I am not just the Blog God; I am also a very savvy businessman. My next step was much more exciting for our beloved readers, all eight of you.
I have brought on two new contributing writers to take his place. Phat Pat, the younger brother of Dirty Dan, is a bustling bundle of joy at the young age of 201 months. He is now a contributing writer, if he can ever figure out what to write about. Along with Pat we are joined by a good friend of mine, Strokis. Strokis is a big fan of alien theories and will use his new position as a Skimmer’s contributor to tell you all about how and why aliens control our lives.
I would also like to introduce our readership to Mel, who is mostly behind the scenes as she handles our tech. Mel is easily better than the rest of us as she goes to an Ivy League school and we do not. She may decide to grace us with her wit and intellect in the occasional blog.
Aiden Cornelius Moriarty, CEO