I love the woods. Hiking, camping, etc., but I’m gonna be really pissed if they get all fucked up because of people. I’m not a save the Earth, tree-hugging hippie, but the woods are a great place to fuck around.
Since I’m currently residing in the DMV area (D.C., Maryland, Virginia), the wildfires in California are pretty far from greatly impacting me, unless there’s some sort of apocalyptic, fiery explosion, but what the hell man, why is everything on fire?! I understand that there has been a crazy drought going on throughout California, but I didn’t think it was dry enough that the wind blowing could cause enough friction to literally create hell on earth. I don’t mean to make light of a natural disaster, but it’s just insane.
I don’t claim to know how to stop these disasters from happening, but I amy be able to offer some common sense tips and tricks for those lacking in brain power on how to not set the planet on fire. Here they are:
- If you’re out camping, hiking, hunting, etc. and you feel the need to light a campfire, be careful dammit! Don’t build it somewhere where it could light up a dead tree or an inconveniently place pile of tinder.
- Put out your fire. Sounds like common sense right? Maybe not for all people. I haven’t researched any statistics or anything, but I’m pretty sure there been at least one asshole out there who thought their fire was out but left hot embers just sitting in the middle of forest and set the whole damn thing ablaze. Toss some water on it. Don’t be that guy, and if you are that guy, fuck you, I’ll see you in hell.
- Shoutout to all of you with tobacco/nicotine addictions. Unless you’re one of the dumb-asses who starts forest fires with a lit cigarette butt (again I have no stats to back this up, but I’m sure it has happened). Toss them in the parking lot, not the woods. This doesn’t apply to those who think vaping counts as a nicotine addiction. Get a real vice and stop being such a stupid millennial fuck.
Three easy steps. Don’t be an ignorant douche, put out your damn fires, and stop burning down the forest. If I ever run out of places to hike and chop down trees, I’m gonna be so pissed because I warned you all.
Stay safe all of you reading from California and remember, Strokey the Bear says: “Only you can prevent forest fires.”