The Case of the Missing Purse

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Boxing is an interesting sport with a lot of angry little men sustaining great amounts of head trauma. I guess all of the head trauma sometimes causes boxers to do some interesting things. Let’s take Jonathan Guzman for example. This man, after taking the Bantamweight title, decided to fill his purse with $70,000 in cash. After his victory, Guzman went back to his home in the Dominican Republic, where he was accompanied to his home by thousands of people who celebrated for hours. Once the festivities were over, Guzman discovered that the bag he had stashed his money in had been opened and all of his money taken.

I’m not sure if it was the craziness of the celebration, the lasting effects of head trauma that comes with a 22 fight career, or a nice combination of the two, but for some reason Guzman thought it was a good idea to leave his bags unattended. Now, I’m not claiming to be in tune with the boxing mentality, but I wouldn’t just let my bags chill in the airport or on the floor somewhere, or wherever the fuck he left it. I would have that shit locked up in my house or handcuffed to me so no one could get into it. It’s 70K in cash and now it’s just gone. There’s no way Guzman is getting it back. They say he’s undefeated with a 22-0 record, but he just took a huge loss. Take the belt away, his career just went to shit. Nobody wants to see a boxer with a record like 22-70,000.

Get your shit together Guzman, try opening a savings account.

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