Pro Football HOF Class of 2016: Class of Bros


Last night was the induction of the pro football Hall of Fame class of 2016, and I must say it is an impressive collection of football players, coaches, and owners. But what struck me while watching the speeches, Kevin Greene’s in particular, was that this year’s class is the official Class of Bros.

The major bros that define this class are Kevin Greene, Ken Stabler, and Brett Favre. Thirty seconds into Greene’s speech, you can tell how cool he was. Slipping in casual TV friendly swears, talking about how cool and awesome certain people were, and constantly chuckling to himself muttering, “good lord.” Ken “the Snake” Stabler is a famous bro who was known for hanging with cheerleaders before and likely after the game. Brett Favre is just the pinnacle Southern hick bro who does Levi commercials and grows mean beards. He also holds the NFL record for career interceptions because he constantly said “screw it,” and went for touchdowns.

The rest of the class isn’t so bad either. Orlando Pace has a restaurant where he’s known for going around greeting people and signing autographs. Tony Dungy is the bro in the group who’s kinda shy and innocent and is always laughing at every joke, but is a integral bro to the group nonetheless. Eddy J. DeBartolo is the vintage rich, generous Italian with million dollar suits and carefully combed hair. And Marvin Harrison is the bro of the group who everyone sort of fears, but as soon as an outsider messed with the group, Marvin grabs his gun and is ready to kill anyone with no questions asked.

And that’s our Hall of Fame class. My only hope is that somewhere along the ceremonies, the bros are left alone to just hang out. That would be an epic group.

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