The other day I was in Christmas Tree Shops buying cards ’cause those shits are cheap there, when I came upon an interesting descriptor. A humorous Jewish birthday card? I saw the front of the card and my immediate thought was “oh my God.” Take a look for yourself, and please ignore my hideous manicure, I have an appointment scheduled tomorrow don’t worry:
Like, what the hell? People talk about the “War on Christmas,” but a store by the name of “Christmas Tree Shops” seems to be making itself a major belligerent in this battle. Christmas Tree Shops is holding the fort down, I mean, are there any primarily New England chains named after perhaps a menorah or a dreidel or other object associated with a Jewish holiday around? No? Interesting.
After all, anybody can acquire taste for salmon on a bagel with the capers on a square plate, not necessarily while getting lit to Yachty (props to y’all who got that reference). I feel like if I was Jewish, I’d be shocked to see this card, then buy it for my also-Jewish friend’s birthday. It’s like if I saw a card that says, “Bigos insane on your birthday!” with a picture of a bowl of the hearty meal.
Damn, maybe I should work for a card company.